Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
