Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
