Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
