dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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