There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
