Someone shit on the floor
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
