dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize