Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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