Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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