I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize