I am in a vortex of obligation.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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