My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
