What did we do last night that was yellow?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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