So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
