how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
it's like iHOP with fire
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
