i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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