She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
