And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
