Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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