JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
