i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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