i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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