Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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