I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
