I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
