One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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