I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
