We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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