Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
