it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
