nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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