wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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