Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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