he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
