I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize