just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm too high and old for this...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
