I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
