Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
