Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
