If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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