we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize