ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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