i would punch a child for taco bell
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We don't watch enough power rangers
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
