i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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