I wish life had little blips of pornography
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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