how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need a beard to bite.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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