I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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