my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
