If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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