Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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