she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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