Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
