i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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