I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
