Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Drunk is not a location!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
