I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
