thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
sex in a hospital.. check
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
