We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
